So, I actually ran 10 miles, but around mile 9 the iPhone was at 5% and I guess conked out around 9.53…I don’t mind, it gives me a second chance at a first….since I’m planning another 10 mile run in 2 weeks.
This was so much fun and some serious work, my hips and knees ached and I was exhausted. But running along the FDR is so perfect with the water and breeze, it’s absolutely beautiful. I Also had the added bonus of running with a friend.P.S. Working in a real kitchen is also exhausting, sweaty and achy, but still the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m so down for whatever comes next….but I sooo miss sleeping…Like in an actual bed…humph.
Today was all about distance for me…for the past couple of weeks I’ve been plateauing at 3-4 miles, so today I decided it was time for a change. 8.69 miles!!! The longest in a year!!! Yay!!!!
I think I did pretty well considering around mile 6 I stopped/started a ton. This was a fantastic run and hopefully the start of me pushing things further…thinking 15 miles??
"I try to stay away from other people. I don’t like to have to be keeping up pretenses all the time— it’s exhausting. Being a loner forces me to be two-faced sometimes, though. I’m always having to make up little stories to get out of social situations. But I’d much rather be alone, watching films. I enjoy watching actors. They’re always pretending, just like me."
I’ve apparently been in culinary school for the past ten months and tomorrow it comes to an end. This is the most accomplished and terrified I have ever felt and I have no idea what to do with myself.
I fear that the price of my dream will only amount to failure and regret….yet I still seem to have enough goodwill in myself to keep moving forward- as I start my externship at a really great restaurant next Sunday.
The issue is I have spent the majority of my life not caring for many things. I cut people off easily, I have worked at the same place since I was 17 (slowly moving up professionally, yet still kind of stagnating), I’m not emotionally available in relationships- constantly compared to a robot; I’ve just never loved anything and therefore, I’ve never truly been hurt, just slightly annoyed.
I love cooking, I adore being in kitchens and this is the happiest I’ve been in forever…seriously, for a while I thought I was a sociopath kind of faking excitement and honestly mimicking others so they could feel comfortable. (There are other things that made me feel like a sociopath, but not “murdery” things, just emotionally stunted things)
Anyway, long story short this whole fear thing is amazing and uncomfortable….is this real/normal? How long does this shit last?
I took myself out on a proper date…
Finally saw “Obvious Child” and kind of fell in love with Jenny Slate, now I’m at a French place drinking wine, eating moules and frites and working on my menu for my graduation on Monday.
I actually really loved today, it was necessary….just hanging out alone and only having to worry about entertaining myself.
The 2 glasses of wine definitely helps!
Next, I’m off to Prospect Park!
-Go to thousandth friend’s bridal shower
-Notice everyone there is either engaged or married
-Feel like a giant failure for not being engaged/married
-Go home and go to sleep, forgoing any plans to go out and be social
-Watch Frances Ha and Rachel Getting Married and empathise way too much with protagonists
- Feel broken, pour two fingers of Scotch, put on records and drink
-Look up and find GIANT, FUCKING FLYING ROACH the size of my thumb looking down on me pitifully
-Scream excessively and realise some people have real problems and I should get over myself.
Thank you, giant roach, for the life lessonI’ll be watching Daria for the rest of the night.